Lack Of A DH Puts J.D. Martinez On The Bench Tonight For Red Sox In Miami

Here's another reason to hate National League rules: J.D. Martinez has to sit out a game. The new Boston DH/OF will ride the pine tonight in South Beach since slugging pitcher Brian Johnson (three HRs in BP the other day) needs to hit. Actually, that's not the reason, Martinez just needs a day off (he's hitting a 'robust' .200 with no HRs). Here is the Red Sox lineup for tonight: 1. Mookie Betts RF; 2. Andrew Benintendi LF; 3. Hanley Ramirez 1B; 4. Rafael Devers 3B; 5. Xander Bogaerts SS; 6. Eduardo Nunez 2B; 7. Jackie Bradley Jr. CF; 8. Christian Vazquez C; 9. Johnson, SP.

Evil Ones Cancel Opening Day At Concrete Bunker On 161st Street For Snow

What a bunch of wimps! The Bronx Embalmers cancelled their 2018 Opening Day game against the Tampa Bay Rays after a few inches of snow 'blanketed' Baghdad-On-The-Hudson. Actually, it might have been too embarrassing to see only 10 people in the dozens of $2,000 seats behind home plate instead of the usual 25. So, we get it. The game has been re-scheduled for 4PM on Tuesday. Why 4PM? Because it might rain earlier. Ooooh. You can bet that the cold, clammy, windy, 30-degree wind chill weather at Fenway Park on Thursday will not impact the playing of our Opening Day game. But, hey, that's just one of the many differences between us and them. If you've got about two weeks, we can enumerate the others.

An Objective Look At The 3-1 First Week Start Of Your Boston Red Sox

Winning three of the first four games of any season on the road it unquestionably a good thing. Eking out three one-run wins against a manifestly awful Tampa Bay Rays team is quite something else. True, the four Red Sox starters gave historic performances (2 ERs over 24 innings pitched), but let's look at the guys they were facing. It was a litany of young, talented but unproven guys (Joey Wendel, Matt Duffy, Mallex Smith) along with over-the-hill veterans (Denard Span, Carlos Gomez, Brad Miller). Not exactly the "Murderers' Row" of the 1928 Yankees. Moreover, Boston's 'offense' mustered just ten runs in thirty-six innings—resulting in a run differential so far of just +1. And, even with a sizzling-hot Xander Bogaerts in the line-up, the team is hitting a pathetic .214. Luckily, the anemic Rays were hitting .190. So, let's all feel good about a decent start—but let's also wait and see how this team performs against truly talented opponents.

New Ownership Group Takes Elitism To New Heights With Vineyard Vines Deal

You may think that we go a little too far in our criticisms of the NOG (New Ownership Group). You know, the out-of-touch, out-of-towners who are currently temporary custodians of the Red Sox brand? Our charges of elitism were not helped much by the announcement that clothing line vineyard vines has been designated as the "Official Style" of the Red Sox and Fenway Park. Official Style? Really? So when the 'beautiful people' get into their chauffeur-driven limos to drive up to Fenway from Woods Hole (after docking their yachts there), they can don a "whimsical" whale logo tie and feel really at home. In addition to foisting their dumb clothing line on fans, vineyard vines also "will activate Fenway's Rooftop Sessions, a pre-game concert series on the Strega Deck." Just what the average fan from Southie or Somerville is looking for. What a load of crap.

Our Selections For Favorite MLB Players Who Are Not Now On The Red Sox

Obviously, we root for our laundry—and the players who wear it. But there are also several players who don't wear Carmine Hose who we admire greatly. They're not necessarily the #1 elite superstars at their respective positions—but we'd love each of them on our team. Herewith, our selections for favorite non-Red Sox players:

FIRST BASE: Freddie Freeman, Atlanta Braves; SECOND BASE: Brian Dozier, Minnesota Twins; THIRD BASE: Nolan Arenado, Colorado Rockies; SHORTSTOP: Andrelton Simmons, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
OUTFIELD: Charlie Blackmon, Colorado Rockies; George Springer, Houston Astros; Christian Yelich, Milwaukee Brewers
CATCHER: Jonathan Lucroy, Oakland A's
STARTING PITCHERS: Noah Syndergaard, New York Metropolitans; Carlos Carrasco, Cleveland Indians; Carlos Martinez, St. Louis Cardinals; Jose Quintana, Chicago Cubs
BULLPEN: Raisel Iglesias, Cincinnati Reds; Brad Hand, San Diego Padres; Wade Davis, Colorado Rockies; Sean Doolittle, Washington Nationals; Brandon Morrow, Chicago Cubs

Velazquez Shines, "Jim Buchanan" Redeems, Sox Eek Out 2-1 Win Over Rays

(Getty Images)

Now, they are alone in first place. The Red Sox completed a series win at TheMostPulpDome with a tight, 2-1 win on Easter Sunday. Boston fell behind early as Hector Velazquez yielded a solo HR. But, The Carmine Hose tied the score on J.D. Martinez's first Boston RBI and then went ahead to stay on a Rafael Devers single to stave off The Sons Of Kevin Cash. Velaquez continued Boston's red hot starting pitching—going 5.1 innings, giving up five hits, walking just one and striking out five. The bullpen was solid once again—with Marcus Walden, Bobby Poyner, Matt Barnes and Joe Kelly giving 3.1 innings of scoreless relief. Kelly, of course, made it a 'cardiac' save in relief of the resting Craig Kimbrel. Mookie Betts was on base four times—with two hits and two HBPs—while the previously red-hot Xander Bogaerts went 0-5 in the clean-up spot. The Evil Ones blew a 4-1 lead up north in AmericaLite to fall to 2-2 and give the Red Sox sole possession of first place in the AL East.

FN Shifts Allegiance To Other Boston Team, Re-Brands As 'BravesFieldNation'

After due deliberation, the Editors of FenwayNation have decided to shift our focus to the other original Boston baseball franchise–The Braves. From today forward, the site will be known as BravesFieldNation—honoring the location next to the current Boston University that was the home of our beloved National League franchise. Before owner Lou Perini absconded with the franchise to Milwaukee, the Braves were the darling of thousands of local baseball fans. Now, we are re-committing our attention to the Bravos—also known over time as the Bees, Doves, and Beaneaters. See 'ya, Red Sox! (Happy April 1st!)

Benny, Hanley And Nunez Sit In Sunday's Red Sox Lineup, Swihart At DH

Manager Alex Cora is getting creative with today's Red Sox lineup. Andrew Benintendi, Hanley Ramirez and Eduardo Nunez will sit out—while Blake Swihart will DH. On top of all that, Rafael Devers will bat second and red-hot Xander "Bogie-Two-Bags" Bogaerts will hit clean-up in the re-vamped line-up. Brock Holt will man second base. Oh, and J.D. Martinez will be in left. Hector Velazquez will take to the hill for The Carmine Hose. You'll need a scorecard, folks!

"Bogie Two-Bags" Stays Hot, Red Sox Ascend Into First Place, Win, 3-2

USAToday Sports

Xander Bogaerts seems to like hitting with a healthy pair of hands. The Red Sox shortstop collected three more hits on Saturday—including his fifth double of 2018 and a HR—to pace Boston to a 3-2 win over the Devil Dogs. Rick Porcello continued the string of virtually un-hittable Red Sox starters—going 5.1 innings and giving up just one earned run on six hits. J.D. Martinez collected his first hit in Carmine Hose—a double. Craig Kimbrel came on to preserve a one-run lead in the 9th for his second consecutive save. Bobby Poyner had a mixed MLB debut, pitching two-thirds of an inning and giving up a monster HR to Carlos Gomez. Carson Smith partially redeemed his Opening Day gag-job by hurling two-thirds of an inning of scoreless ball. The win—coupled with the loss by The Evil Empire—vaulted the Red Sox into a tie for first place in the AL East.