Coming Soon: Pee-Wee's Big Laser Show Adventure?

The Laser Show Performs

At the roast for David Ortiz last night (which the puritanical NESN will not air due to "profanities"), Dustin Pedroia revealed that his long-time teammate didn't know his name was Dustin. In fact, he thought it was "Pee-Wee", literally. Of course, the reason Ortiz got the nickname "Papi" was because he called everyone "Papi"—since he couldn't remember anyone's name. The Muddy Chicken's re-telling of the story is priceless—but you'll never see it on NESN. Here's the 'horrific' language that censor-happy NESN is 'protecting' you from:

"The catcher comes up to me and goes, 'Hey what’s up, Dustin?' I go, 'Hey, what’s up man?' David walks over and goes, 'What the f— did he call you?' I go, 'What?' He goes, 'What’d he call you?' I said, 'Dustin.' He goes, 'Why’d he call you that?' I go, 'That’s my f—— name.' He goes, 'Oh is that right?' I go, 'Yeah, bro. I played 1,600 games with you. They’ve actually said it 5,000 f—— times: "Now batting: No. 15 Dustin Pedroia.'' He goes, 'I thought it was Peewee. You thought my parents would name me f—— Peewee?'"

VIDEO: Big Papi Tribute Narrated By Kevin Spacey

Red Sox Set To Retire David Ortiz's Number 34 Tonight

Before tonight's game with the Anaheim Angels, the Red Sox will have a ceremony to unveil their newest retired number— the #34 of David Ortiz. Big Papi becomes just the tenth Red Sox player to be enshrined on the right field façade—joining Bobby Doerr (#1), Joe Cronin (#4), Johnny Pesky (#6), Carl Yastrzemski (#8), Ted Williams (#9), Jim Rice (#14), Wade Boggs (#26), Carlton Fisk (#27), and Pedro Martinez (#45). As in all MLB parks, the #42 is enshrined for the great Jackie Robinson. Yesterday, the City of Boston dedicated a new street near Fenway Park: David Ortiz Drive. How appropriate! Festivities will start pretty early tonight, so if you're going to the game, be sure to be there by around 6PM.

Could The Red Sox Solve Two Problems With One Trade?

With the Royals playing a little better (just 3.5 games out of first), and Mike Moustakas having a solid season, Kansas City's urge to dump their soon-to-be free agent third-baseman might be dulled a bit. Enter the Pale Hose—who, despite being just seven games out—are mired in the AL Central cellar. Their soon-to-be free-agent third-baseman, Todd Frazier, has had a bit of a renaissance lately. Over the last 30 days or so, Frazier has clouted eight HRs and produced an .871 OPS. And, their so-far under-performing starter José Quintana is also available. So, the Red Sox might be able solve two problems for the price of what it might take to get just Moustakas. Quintana is 3-8 so far, with a 5.07 ERA. But, he's given up just 80 hits in 81.2 innings pitched—not horrible. Plus, he's delivered the highest strikeouts-per-nine-innings ratio of his career (8.7). The lefty is still only 28 years old—and could solve Boston's 'missing fifth starter' problem—heck, maybe even their 'missing fourth starter' problem.

Mookie Betts Remains A Long-Shot For MLB ASG Start

With little time left, Red Sox right-fielder Mookie Betts is pretty much out of the running for one of the three starting outfield spots on the American League All-Star team. As of Tuesday, Betts trails fourth-place holder Michael Brantley by 54,744 votes. With Mike Trout (the second-highest vote-getter) out of the running with an injury, the fourth spot is key. But, the chances are now very slim for having any positional starters in Carmine Hose at the Miami classic on July 11th.

Promotions Of Chavis & Devers Could Mean Other Moves

Chavis (L); Devers (R)

Multiple sources are reporting today that third-base prospect Michael Chavis has been promoted to AA Portland. Logically, this should lead to another quick promotion—moving the organization's other top third-base prospect Rafael Devers to AAA Pawtucket. And, yet a third move could be the dumping of ear-infected Pablo Sandoval and/or a trade for Kansas City's hot-corner star Mike Moustakas. Devers is Boston #1 overall prospect, while Chavis slots in at #7. Either one could be shipped west for Moustakas. Stay tuned!

New 'David Ortiz Drive' To Be Dedicated In Boston Today

The E-I-C With #34

He's already got a bridge named after him. Now, Red Sox legend David Ortiz—whose #34 will be retired by the team on Friday night—will have a street named in his honor as well. "David Ortiz Drive"—formerly "Yawkey Way Extension"—will get it's formal designation today by Boston Mayor Marty Walsh, The thoroughfare runs between Brookline Avenue and the Yawkey T Stop just across from Fenway Park. Ortiz spent 14 years of his 20-year career in Carmine Hose—winning three World Series rings in the process.

Bullpen Meltdown Costs Red Sox First Place, Fall, 6-4

(AP Photo)

It had to happen sooner or later. The Red Sox bullpen, taxed mightily in the last few weeks, folded yesterday in a devastating 6-4 loss in Kansas City. Ahead 4-2 in the eighth inning—thanks to another solid performance by Drew Pomeranz—three walks (by relievers Matt Barnes and Robby Scott) led to a game-winning grand slam (coughed up by Scott). Poof! Game gone. First place gone. Again, the offense mustered just five hits—including back-to-back solo HRs by Andrew Benintendi and Xander Bogaerts. A seven-game Fenway stint awaits—but lousy pitching doesn't get any better with home cooking.

FenwayNation's 2017 'First Citizen' Award Goes To Panda

Pablo Sandoval has had a rough couple of years in Boston. But, his on-field issues have not stopped his off-field charitable efforts on behalf of his new community. In addition to establishing the Pablo Sandoval Family Foundation, 'The Panda' has served as co-captain for the Jimmy Fund. Pablo lends his name and time serving as an advocate and ambassador for the charity—based at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. He has visited the clinic and welcomed kids to Fenway Park. Pablo also created a ticket program, purchasing tickets for children to attend a game at Fenway. For these and many other efforts, FenwayNation is pleased to present Pablo with our 2017 First Citizen Award. Previous winners of FN's 'First Citizen' award were: 2016—Brock Holt; 2015—Dustin Pedroia; 2014—Shane Victorino; 2013—Craig Breslow; 2012—David Ortiz; 2011—Josh Beckett; 2010—Mike Lowell; 2009—Kevin Youkilis; 2008—Mike Timlin; 2007—Curt Schilling; 2006—Tim Wakefield; and 2005's inaugural winner—Bill Mueller.

Muddy Chicken Still Out Of Today's Red Sox Lineup

Here is today's Red Sox line-up (sans Dustin Pedroia and Pablo Sandoval—who is on the DL suffering from an "inner ear infection"): 1. Mookie Betts RF, 2. Andrew Benintendi LF, 3. Xander Bogaerts SS, 4. Mitch Moreland 1B, 5. Chris Young DH, 6. Jackie Bradley Jr. CF, 7. Josh Rutledge 2B, 8. Christian Vazquez C, 9. Deven Marrero 3B. On the hill today for The Carmine Hose will be Drew Pomeranz.

Red Sox "Sale" Into First Place With 8-3 Pasting Of KC

(AP Photo)

Finally, Chris Sale got some run support. The lefty's teammates put up eight runs on thirteen hits—allowing them to move into sole possession of first place in the AL East. The 8-3 win was paced by Xander Bogaerts (2-5, 2 RBIs), Sandy Leon (2-4, 2 RBIs) and Deven Marrero (2-2, RBI). All this offense was done with three top contributors on the bench—Dustin Pedroia, Andrew Benintendi and Mitch Moreland. For Sale's part, he once set down 19 Royals in a row—until a blip in the ninth. He finished with 8.1 innings, three earned runs and just four hits. In his ninth win of 2017, he struck out ten and walked only one.

Will Sox Outfield Claim Three Gold Gloves This Year?

(USAToday Sports)

Brandon Wile of TheScore.com raises a fascinating possibility for the 2017 Red Sox. The team could become the first in MLB history to have three Gold Glove outfielders. All three players—Jackie Bradley, Jr., Mookie Betts and Andrew Benintendi—have had stellar defensive seasons so far this year. Yesterday, Benintendi logged his fifth OF assist. Betts already has 15 defensive runs saved this year in RF—leading the majors. JBJ has three OF assists and has already yanked back a few HRs. The evidence is clear that the 'Killer B' unit should be in serious contention at all three spots for the gold-plated glove-age.

VIDEO: Benny Ballgame Guns Down Jose Altuve