Monday, June 4, 2018

Unfortunately, "Jim Buchanan" Can't "Bring It" On Our National Cheese Day

Kelly's Processed American
How unfair is this? Here it is, June 4th, National Cheese Day in America—and Joe Kelly (AKA reporter Jim Buchanan) can't 'bring it' at 100MPH to celebrate the occasion. Why? Because the Red Sox are off today! Come on! We could have had the spectacle of Dennis Eckersley commenting on the 'ripeness' of Kelly's cheese—or maybe it's aroma, texture, flavor and firmness. Perhaps Dave O'Brien could have made comparisons between Kelly's "cheese" and that of previous hard-throwers on the Red Sox—like the once-mighty Daniel Bard. You know, like which one's fastball had the greater moisture content or which specific molds and bacteria were added to each (if any). But, alas, there is no game today and we may never know the glory of suffering from hardball lactose intolerance on a national holiday that is meant to glorify it.