Once in a while, a story will come across our desk that shocks us. Then—in another universe completely—are the A-Rod stories. According to a report in The New York Daily News, Alex Rodriguez urinated on an exterior wall of his cousin's Florida home to "mark his territory" in their on-going PED-related dispute. And you thought he only went "off-the-wall" at Fenway! Carmen Sucart—wife of A-Rod's cousin Yuri Sucart—claims that The Fraudulent One relieved himself at her home to demonstrate his dominance over her family. Said Carmen, "He was arrogant. You know what he did? He peed outside on my wall, next to the pool. He didn't ask for the bathroom. He go outside and he just pee right there. He came over, took his thing out and went right there." That's it. We're speechless. We're outta here. We'll be here all next week. Tip your waitresses. Try the veal.