Wow. Have we suddenly become fans of the minor league Albuquerque Isotopes? On May 4th, your Boston Red Sox—part of Major League Baseball—will hold a rinky-dink bush league Star Wars promotion. On that night the team will play another major league outfit called the Tampa Bay Rays—but you wouldn't know it from this lame event. Touted as the "inaugural Red Sox Star Wars event" (does that mean this idiocy will happen every year?), all fans who purchase tickets through a special website promotion will get (are you ready?) "a Death Star Baseball". Oh, by the way, fans will also "see Star Wars characters at Fenway Park as part of the fun". We can't believe promotional king Dr. Charles ("The Mad Dentist") Steinberg had anything to do with this. Are ticket sales really that slow?