According to an article by Sports Illustrated's Ben Reiter, the Red Sox were among five teams that offered Cuban slugger Jose Abreu more than $60 million and "came very close to landing" the now-superstar of the Chicago White Sox. Abreu—after escaping from Fidel Castro's 'Socialist Paradise'—ended up signing for six years and $68 million. In addition to the Pale and Carmine Hose, the Astros, Brewers and Rockies were also seriously in the mix for Abreu. So far, the 27-year old has dispelled any doubts about his ability to adapt to The Show. As of this morning, he's hitting .271 with 15 HRs and 41 RBIs (the latter two stats leading the American League). He's already being compared to Miguel Cabrera and Albert Pujols—and he's getting way less money than those two. The legendary stories are already mounting—like his literally tearing the cover off a baseball on a foul shot (à la The Natural). Maybe if we had allocated some of the jock-strap budget from the Liverpool soccer team, we'd have Abreu in the middle of our lineup.