Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Red Sox Problem Is Not Chemistry, It's Physics

Over the last few days, there's been a lot of gnashing of teeth and renting of clothing over the plight of your Carmine Hose. "They just don't have the same chemistry as last year" many in the chattering class are lamenting. You know, supposedly, a certain nameless bench player is "carping" about lack of playing time and another part-timer is whining about too many outfield bodies and not enough musical chairs. Moreover, nothing has supplanted the "beard thing" to unite the team. To all of this, we say: baloney. What's hurting this team is more physics than chemistry: the inability to apply enough force with a rounded wooden object against a hurtling white spheroid. More particularly, they can't achieve this feat with runners in scoring position. Chemistry, Schmemistry. Start squaring up the baseball!