Friday, December 6, 2013

Robinson Cano Signs With Mariners For $240M

Well, maybe Jay-Z isn't as stupid as we initially thought. Multiple reports suggest that Robinson Cano has signed a 10-year, $240 million contract with the Seattle Mariners. This is a huge blow to The Evil Ones—who somehow thought signing Jacoby Ellsbury was more important than keeping their homegrown future Hall of Fame-calibre second baseman. This will, however, free up cash for The Bronx Embalmers to shore up their pathetic rotation and probably trade for someone like Brandon Philips to play second.