Friday, July 26, 2013

Dan Duquette Reveals He's 'Texting For Trades'

Former Red Sox General Manager Dan Duquette (who now toils for the Birds of Baltimore) made an interesting admission today on WEEI's Mut & Merloni Show. When asked how many phone calls he'd been making in the run-up to the MLB trade deadline, Duke stated, "Actually, most of the communications these days are with text messages". What? Can you imagine the conversation that might go on between—say—BenCher and Theo via text? More troubling, what happens if the auto-correct function turns "Xander Bogaerts" into "Humphrey Bogart"? You might wind up trading a valuable asset for a dead actor. Even more troubling, what if there's a rogue Yankee fan monitoring texts for the National Security Agency? He could decide to subtly alter the terms of a prospective deal to favor The Evil Ones. Think of the possibilities! By the way, if the NSA is monitoring this, it's just a satire, guys. Hello? Hello?