In an apparent effort to make their roster even older, the Evil Ones are trying to lure 37-year old Derek Lee out of retirement. Presumably, Lee would fill in for the 10 weeks that Mark Teixeira is out of commission. Lee last played in 2011 for the Orioles and Pirates. He has 331 HRs over a 15-year MLB career. While the Pinstriped Posers have a few internal options to fill in for Mr. Text Message (like Juan Rivera), they would prefer a bit more mature ballplayer like Lee. AARP could not be reached for comment on the proposed signing.