Well, it's Christmas morning. And when little Benny Cherington runs down the stairs, heart a-flutter, to see what Santa has brought him, Mike Napoli will not be under his Yawkey Way Tree. Way back on December 10th—before the Mayan Apocalypse hit—Napoli was announced as our first baseman of the near future (3 years, $39 million). Then, that bothersome physical had to be administered. Given the history of the Red Sox Medical Team, you had to wonder how good that was going to go. Anyway, a heretofore unknown hip condition presented itself in the MRIs. Then, the Cone Of Silence descended on the front office at Fenway—not a substantive word has come from anyone since. Speculation, of course, is rampant—this is the Red Sox after all. But, as—one by one—first base alternatives have fallen by the wayside, a little panic seems to setting in. Adam LaRoche? Michael Morse? Mauro Gomez? Garrett Jones? LaRoche, Morse, Gomez, & Jones. Sounds like a crooked law firm. But, one of them is likely to be your 2013 Carmine Hose first-baseman. Not Mike Napoli.