Friday, July 22, 2011

Where's the fan's CBA?

As I write this, it has reached 99 degrees Fahrenheit at Fenway Park. And, it's barely past noon. Later on, for some ungodly reason, I and a friend will be trekking to 'America's Most Cramped Ballpark' to watch John Lackey take on King Felix Hernandez. How do think that will turn out?

My rough meteorological estimate is that, come game time, the Heat Index at Fenway will be somewhere in the neighborhood of 110. In the munchkin-sized grandstand seats we occupy at the largess of the NOG (well up under the 1912 roof structure), the stifling Heat Index will probably be over 200.

John Lackey (in his likely loss) will make $508,333.33 for his troubles ($15.25 million divided by 30 starts-a goal he probably won't reach, so it's even more money). My friend and I will spend around $150 each—if we're lucky! I ask you: Is this fair? Lackey even gets to retreat to the air-conditioned clubhouse between innings. My friend and I get to rise and let pass some Pink Hat to get her 35th beer around the 6th inning.

In the wake of football players whining about their 48% share of NFL revenues, I propose a Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) for fans. I can't speak for its content just yet, but 'for sure' one provision would be a refund for sweating through performances by the John Lackeys of the world. Solidarity, my brothers!