Friday, April 29, 2016

Evil Ones Infest Fenway Park For The First Time In 2016

Thankfully, so far in 2016, The Bronx Embalmers pretty much stink. As they (and their cretinous fans) prepare to invade Fenway tonight, The Pinstriped Posers occupy last place in the American League East. Their 8-12 record is made worse by the fact that they've scored 20 fewer runs than their pitchers have given up. That's the sign of a bad ballclub. Starlin Castro—a cast-off from the rampaging Cubbies—is their leading hitter. And A-Fraud is batting .190. Three of their top four starting pitchers have ERAs well over 4.00. To be fair, the end of their bullpen is solid—and will be even stronger when Aroldis Chapman returns from his domestic abuse suspension. In general, though, they are a mess. Bring 'em on!