Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Nothing Red Sox-Related Occurs Over 24-Hour Period

In a shocking development, no Red Sox-related news was created over the last 24 hours. This represents the first such non-occurrence since January 25, 1966. Red Sox bloggers and beat writers have had to scramble to find any content that was even remotely related to the team. The result has been a string of saccharine pieces ranging from retrospectives on ballpark food to good deeds done by second-tier Red Sox prospects. Crisis hotlines have been set up to offer writers counseling to get through this bleak period. Red Sox management has hastily scheduled a press conference to announce the placement of new environmentally-conscious urinal cakes in selected Men's restrooms at Fenway. Hey, it's a start.