Friday, February 13, 2015

NORAD Tracks Santa, Why Not Red Sox Truck?

It's about time the federal government got its priorities straight. NORAD (The North American Aerospace Defense Command) spends untold millions of taxpayer dollars to track the global positioning of Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. A laudable enough task—but nowhere near as important as knowing exactly where the Red Sox equipment truck is on its trek to Florida. Sure, we had tons of media coverage as the truck loaded up and went on its way yesterday. But, now what? How do we know where that precious cargo is? Is it somewhere in the boonies of North Carolina? Is it approaching the critical South Of The Border milestone? Has it already traversed into The Sunshine State? Inquiring minds need to know!