Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Red Sox To Employ "New Age" Shrink-Ology

This is so NOG (New Ownership Group). The Red Sox have announced the creation of a yet another department— this one called 'behavioral health'. If you thought John Henry and crew were "touchy-feely" before, wait until you get a load of this. They've hired Dr. Richard Ginsburg, co-director of the PACES Institute of Sports Psychology at Massachusetts General Hospital to head up the unit. What will it do? According to Alex Speier (newly ensconced at Henry's Boston Globe), "The staff plans to place an emphasis on the emerging field of 'mindfulness,' in which individuals consciously identify and take stock of the circumstances surrounding them to avoid getting overwhelmed or distracted." Need a translation from New-Age-Eese? Presumably, 'mindfulness' will allow players to "recognize" a hostile crowd and "implement behaviors" to overcome it. We're not making this up, folks—this is part of what your ticket money is going towards. In addition, the new department will oversee the team's interest in "neuro-scouting"—you don't even want to know what that gobbledegook is. Who knows? Maybe we'll get little meditation rooms for us fans when our 'mindful' Carmine Hose blow a ninth-inning lead. Not bloody likely!