The Bronx Embalmers have been almost too quiet this off-season. Today, they pulled off a five-player trade with the Miami Marlins—which netted them a young starting pitcher in Nathan Eovaldi. The Pinstriped Posers sent Martin Prado to South Beach—along with pitcher David Phelps. In addition to Eovaldi, the Marlins sent journeyman first-baseman Garrett Jones and a minor leaguer to the Bronx. Eovladi is only 24 and—despite a disappointing career so far—still has a big upside and a scary fastball. This is probably a smart move by The Evil Ones, since their starting rotation made ours look good.