Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Red Sox Fail To Make Any News For 15 Minutes

In an unprecedented circumstance, the Boston Red Sox failed to make any news in a 15-minute period between 10:15 AM ET and 10:30 AM ET this morning. While the team is out of the post-season and thus might be expected to have some slow news days, this quarter-hour news blackout is the first ever in franchise history. Attempts to reach officials on Yawkey Way have so far been unsuccessful. There are unconfirmed reports that PR Guru Dr. Charles "The Mad Dentist" Steinberg is scrambling to put together a news release—perhaps even about former catcher John Flaherty's 47th birthday. While Flaherty caught only 48 games for the Red Sox, he was drafted by Boston in the 25th round of the 1988 draft. Beggars can't be choosers. Stay tuned.