Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Evil Ones Trade For Third-Baseman Headley

(AP Photo)
Without the 'invaluable' services of A-Fraud for the entire year and stocking the 'hot corner' with the likes of Yangervis Solarte and Zelous Wheeler, The Bronx Embalmers finally made a move. They traded Solarte and another useless minor leaguer to the San Diego Padres for equally useless Chase Headley. After tearing up the National League two years ago, Headley has been a shell of his former self for a long time. Currently, he's batting a robust .229, with 7 HRs and 32 RBIs in 77 games. Wow, what an impressive upgrade!