Thursday, March 20, 2014

MLB Announces Team-Specific Dating Sites

Lame New Tonight Show Host In Love
Surely, it's a sign of the apocalypse. Who knew that the stodgy Bud Selig would be Cupid in disguise? Major League Baseball has announced the launch of 29 team-specific dating sites—apparently the Canadian franchise is the only one opting out. This is not an Onion piece, we are serious about this—at least to the extent that you can trust the Associated Press. Noah Garden, an MLB executive vice president of revenue, actually said this: "The idea is put like people together with similar interest and passion. There's still always room for more butts in the seats." We're not touching that line.