Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Evil Empire Eyes Another Former Sox Closer

Mere hours after signing injured former Red Sox closer Andrew Bailey, word is that The Pinstriped Posers are setting their sights on another former 9th-inning hurler for Boston. Andy Martino of The New York Daily News reports that The Bronx Embalmers "continue to monitor" Joel Hanrahan, who underwent Tommy John surgery last year. Apparently, The Evil Ones are starting to figure out that—despite spending a half a billion dollars this off-season—their bullpen still stinks. Someone should notify them that Alfredo Aceves is available.