By the hairs of their chinny-chin-chins (a margin of just $225,666), the Boston Red Sox avoided MLB's luxury tax in 2013. By contrast, The Evil Empire has to shell out $28.1 million for exceeding the threshold yet again. Since the penalty began in 2003, The Bronx Embalmers have shelled out $250 million—88.6% of all the tax payments made. For the 15th straight year, The Pinstriped Posers finished with the highest payroll in all of baseball ($237,018,889), yet finished out of the playoff picture. It couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of guys.