Friday, September 13, 2013

Cut It Out, Mr. Salty!; Red Sox Slam Empire, 8-4

(Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)
It was setting up to be one of those games you might expect on Friday The 13th. Boston surged out to a first-inning 4-0 lead, and, of course, John Lackey could not pitch with that much largesse. Before you could say "performance-enhancing drugs", The Pinstriped Posers had tied it, 4-4. After endless squanders by The Carmine Hose, Jarrod Saltalamacchia dealt the kill shot to The Bronx Embalmers—the fourth Red Sox grand slam of the month and an 8-4 advantage. Junichi Tazawa and Koji Uehara made the newly-minted lead stand up (Uehara with his obligatory 1-2-3 ninth), and—voilĂ —the Magic Number to nail down the division stood at 7.