Thursday, September 22, 2011

Fit To Be Tied

OK, so what happens if the "Back (In) Street Boys" end up in a two-way or three-way tie for the Wild Card? Well, let's just say that the regulations surrounding ObamaCare are less complex.

Thanks to the Globe's Peter Abraham we have a little better grasp of what would transpire if our beloved nine end up gagging away their entire lead:

A Sox-Rays one-game playoff would take place in Slopicana Field—they have a better head-to-head this year.

A Sox-Angels one-game playoff would be at Fenway (Can you say Bobby "F." Abreu?).

A three-way tangle would invoke a round-robin fiasco worthy of the NCAA's March Madness play-in idiocy:

Bud Selig will draw names out of a hat to identify TEAM A, TEAM B & TEAM C.

Are you still with me?

TEAM B would play TEAM A on September 29th. The winner of that gem would then play TEAM C for the Wild Card honors. Got it?

I scoured the rules further and thought I found another obscure reference to the Commissioner throwing a dead rat over his shoulder, spinning around three times and reciting the Gettysburg Address in Farsi. But, I might be mistaken.